Saturday's Remodel

Saturday morning I headed up to the coop with a bucket of tools and some scrap wood with the intent to install some perches. The ladies seem to enjoy hanging out up on the ones in their yard (that is what the gray pipe is in this picture)  and Dwight seemed to think they didn't feel safe enough inside to lay eggs.

The first thing I did to improve the living conditions for my chickens was install some rails on the ramp. Painted plywood is kind of slippery when you have talons for feet.

 
 After several failed attempts and at hammering nails through a piece of scrap wood to hold up a longer piece of scrap wood (as a perch) to the wobbly, unstable plywood walls and at least five trips back and forth from Shed #1 or the house, I came up with this...

Those are two night stands we had in our first apartment. I was still using one as a night stand (even though it was hidden in a corner to the side of my dresser - Hooray for an excuse to shop for furniture!), and the other was in the office being used for extra stuff storage. I stacked them on top of one another so that I could mount a perch higher than the existing one, which you can see here.

Oh, and I finally nailed that down. Since I never saw that perch lying in the hay, I assume they narrowly avoided Traumatic Experience #6.

When I checked on the ladies after taking Charlie for a walk, one of them (I don't know who since all tail feathers are present and accounted for) was checking out the alcove to the left of the cinder block. That was the most interest I've seen from my birds regarding their housing. Unfortunately I don't have any "before" pictures to show you what they were dwelling in. Even though its still kind of a shanty, I'd say we're moving in the direction of the Ritz rather than the Motel 6.

Movin' On Up

"Well we're movin on up,

To the east side.

To a deluxe apartment in the sky.

Movin on up,

To the east side,

We finally got a piece of the pie."

In another attempt to make my birds feel more at home, I am going to install better perches in the coop. If the ladies are inside when I go check on them, 9 times out of 10, they are laying side by side right in front of my access door, facing the opposite wall.

 

Dwight thinks this is weird and recommends multiple perches. Since Dwight is practically giving a dozen eggs to every other person in the company, I will heed his advice. I don't expect the same success rate, but some success eventually would be nice.

 

I think the light is helping to get the girls up and at 'em pretty early. If nothing else, it looks cozy the way the soft glow emerges from the thin stand of trees. (Think Thomas Kincade (see below)- only less expensive and commercialized.)

Its about that time

...That time of year when I say "Isn't it too early for these decorations?" But along with the question comes this statement: "Thank You very much whoever brought in the ooey gooey treat for the break room!"

Why is it that people tend to bake more in the fall and winter? Is it really the holidays? Maybe. I know why I do. I bake for several reasons.

1. Make the house smell good.
2. So I can eat/lick the dough/batter.
3. Heat the house with the leftover warmth from the oven.

This time of year though, I usually feel the need to make specific things. Every year around Halloween I get the urge to make my Grandma (pronounced Gramma) Churchill's peanut butter and chocolate fudge. That is what she made for Halloween so it just seems right. I have resisted this urge in recent years. Although, I did buy a piece while we were in Savannah. It was good, but it just wasn't the same.

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, its the Pumpkin Roll that begs to be made. Grandma Churchill also made that.

My Grandma (also pronounced Gramma) Bitter, she makes the best Brown Bread. I've never tried to make it myself. But, she is coming to TN for Thanksgiving this year. So if she doesn't make it before she makes the trip, maybe I'll get to help her.

You know what would make these recipes really special? Fresh Eggs! Not that I have any.

Don't you need a Rooster for that?

No.

A lot of people that have inquired about the progress of my laying hens have asked this question.

A rooster is only necessary if you desire fertilized eggs.

Fertilized eggs being the kind that eventually hatch into little baby chicks.

Maybe

Maybe my chickens aren't laying eggs because they are haunted by the spirits of the flock that once resided in the yard, or what makes me even more sad, the hen I lost earlier in the summer.

Aaron enjoys watching shows such as A Haunting and Paranormal State. He thinks they are interesting.  Me? I prefer programs like Mystery Diagnosis and I Survived.

Last night I watched at least 4 episodes of Paranormal State with him. I don't think I blinked or moved between commercial breaks. If I did move, it would have been to get a tighter grip on the blanket that was keeping me safe.

Surprisingly I was able to fall asleep without being wide-eyed with super sonic hearing. However, in the middle of the night I had to use the bathroom. Everything was ok until I crawled back in bed and saw a light coming from the hall. I whispered loudly, "Where is that light coming from?" kind of freaked out. Aaron grumbled back, "The bathroom."

Maybe there are some feathered spirits up there. Maybe that is why I was afraid to go in the coop for so long. Maybe I'll make Aaron go back there with me from now on.

I'm kidding. Or at least I was when I started writing.

Gardening with Lasagna

Aaron and I have toyed with the idea of cultivating a garden since we moved into our house. I think every spring we have a conversation resembling this:

A: "Hey, do you want to start a garden this year?"
L: "Yeah! We won't need many plants for just the two of us..."
A: "We can borrow a tiller from my Dad."
L: "Oh. We have to till."

and immediately my enthusiasm wanes.

One day this past spring while Aaron was out running for a long time I went ahead and planted seeds for 3 vegetables and a fruit.

Since I tend to be pretty lazy from time to time this "garden" was pretty pathetic looking. Instead of digging and tilling I just scraped 4 rows free of grass, dropped some seeds, shook some soil from the removed grass clumps, added some potting soil (because we had some), and watered it. Then it rained a lot. I didn't have to tend to it much.

Once in a while I pulled some weeds from the rows. And when the plants started to grow, I thinned them. Before the plants got too stalky, I risked the future of my epidermis retrieving wire fence from vines and poison ivy. (Don't judge. Its on the property line. It is hard to tell whose responsibility it is.)

It actually worked out pretty well. The little sections of wire fence were held up with stakes and as the plants got taller, they would follow the wire up and over.

The first vegetable I got was a cucumber. It was delicious. So was the second one. After that though, they started to turn a deep orange color. Either the zucchini never came in, or a critter got to it before I could. I may have picked one baby yellow squash, but we didn't eat it.

Since I started everything from seeds at the same time, the tomatoes seemed to take forever. I guess I should have planted them earlier. When they finally did come in, I was starting to lose interest. Tomatoes aren't really a hot item in our household anyway.

Still, I consider my first attempt at a vegetable garden a success.

This year I am trying a different method. An actual method. It is called Lasagna Gardening. My mom (who loves bookstores and fresh food) picked up a book for us to share.

Last weekend when we returned from vacation I started my bed of lasagna. I laid down a combination of newspaper (love the Metro Pulse) and cardboard, then raked piles of leaves on top of that. I've since added vegetable scraps and "used" bedding material from the coop.

By the spring I should have a nice loamy and fertilized spot to plant some seeds and try again.

12 Eggs

Dwight gave me a dozen farm fresh eggs this a.m. Pity eggs, but fresh none the less. I hope the title didn't fool you.

Although I wasn't the one being chased with a fishing net through briars, it seems like a long time since my birds have had a traumatic experience. I feel like they should be laying eggs now.

I was concerned about the amount of light they were getting until all of the leaves fell off the trees. That greatly increased the amount of light the ladies were seeing a day. I feel like they should be laying eggs now.

However, at this time of year there are less hours of daylight, so I am going to install a low wattage bulb on a timer to icrease the amount of light they get a day. I feel like they should be laying eggs now.

Yesterday I came across a tid bit about privacy playing a role in the comfort of a laying hen. I don't know how much I buy this since they poop anywhere, anytime, regardless of company. However, I will probably try to remodel the nesting boxes (that they never use) to allow for more privacy. I feel like they should be laying eggs now.

Usually I am happy just to see I have two chickens in the coop. Recently though, some coworkers have been inquiring. They feel like my hens should be laying eggs now.

Who Knew?

When I sign in to post an entry I have these other tabs I can go through too. Some of you may know how this works already. Some of you probably write your own code. I just pick my design settings from a menu. I like it that way.

The Monetize tab lures me in once in a while. I can allow adds that are pertinent to my blog show up and if my readers click on an add, I get paid. I am sure that is a gross over simplification. It looks like there could be contracts and legal jargon in there, so I usually get scared away from it.

Oh, the Stats tab. It is probably my favorite.

The Stats tab is a way for me to be vain without anyone knowing I am being vain - at least until now. I can check in to see if anybody has visited. If you can make out the sub options,  you can see that I can look at an Overview, Posts, Traffic Sources, and Audience.

• Posts lets me see how many times a specific post has been viewed either Now, within this Day, Week, Month or All Time.
• Traffic Sources provides information about what path a reader takes to get to me; for example a link from another blog, or email message, straight from the URL... Kinda creepy, but neat.
• Audience is amazing. The day I came across this I racked my brain trying to think of who in the world I knew in Singapore or Slovenia. I quickly realized I don't know anybody there, but I hope they enjoyed their time at my blog. All right, well, I don't know anybody in Denmark either. The other countries seemed more plausible. Even if the Slovenians and Singaporeans didn't read anything and they happened upon it by accident, I am still flabbergasted. I am sure I have never accidentally stumbled upon an individual's blog from either one of those countries.

(I really feel like there should be an apostrophe there, but the spell check thinks otherwise. Doesn't possession warrant an apostrophe?!)

3 Dog Night

Myles (L) and Rosie (R) spent the night last night. And the night before. I don't know for sure if Charlie was overwhelmed, but Aaron and I were at times. I'd say we are pretty good at reading what Charlie is feeling. However, if ever presented with the chance to have a conversation with him,

 I have some questions:

1. Can you make a list of everything you ate today?

2. Is it time spent sniffing or quantity of sniffs for a smell to make it in your long term memory?

3. Do you ever lick me after you lick yourself as some sort of payback?

4. Honestly, are you still surprised by your own farts?

5. What is the hardest part of your day?

6. Do you think I am excited enough to see you when I get home? Or could I use a little more wag?

7. How frustrating is it to scratch your ear with your back foot?

8. Why are you afraid of the vacuum cleaner, but not the lawn mower?

9. What do you take into consideration when deciding whether to eat the poop or roll in it?

10. Do you know how good you have it?



Home Sweet Home

Aaron and I went on a vacation, and then a trip for his business and my pleasure.
We started in Savannah, GA (via one night in Atlanta - Thanks Aunt Karen and Uncle Rick).
And then went on to New Orleans, LA.

Number of Chickens upon departure from TN:   2

Number of Eggs ever produced before vacation:   0

Days away from home:   8

Miles travelled:     A lot

Cities visited:    2

Calories consumed:    9 million, 547 thousand, 392 and 87/100ths

Number of Chickens upon return home:   2

Traumatic events while away:   0 (Thanks, Mom!)

Number of Eggs produced while on vacation:   0

Number of Hours at work before I posted:   2

Brothers In-Law

I have 4 brothers in-law.
Alan - Married to my sister, Melissa.















Eric - Brother of my husband, Aaron.  (Married to Olivia)

Click on people's faces in the photo to tag them.

Nick - Married to my sister-in-law, Emily

Click on people's faces in the photo to tag them.

Photo Credit

Will - Married to my sister-in-law, Amanda


With the exception of Eric, I have at one point or another thought that Alan, Nick and Will each resemble a celebrity.  Eric, of course looks a lot like Aaron.

Once in a while Alan grins just so and reminds me of Toby Kieth.

Photo Credit

Nick looks a little like Billy Corgan.

Photo Credit

And Will, he has a slight resemblance to Isaac Mizrahi.

In the Bag

"What in the world is in that BAG? What you got in that BAG?"

-Ludacris

(He is a Rap Artist for those of you who may not know AND...  you are welcome to those of you that know the song and now have it stuck in your head.)

Do you remember when you were a little kid and you got to attend a birthday party of one of your friends/classmates and they had goody bags for you? Those were the best.

This past weekend I got a goody bag for being in a wedding party. It looks a lot like this:

Actually, it looks exactly like this. This is THE goody bag!

Hmmmn, what do we have here?

A pair of scented, gripper socks,

A set of smell-good-stuff in one of my favorite scents,

and a pretty necklace to wear with my Bride's Matron's dress and then whenever I please.

Thanks, Bride. Thanks, Bride's Mama.

***** CHICKEN ***** and/or ***** EGG ***** UPDATE *****

Egg Count: 0 (probably - It was dark and raining when I got home.)

Hen Count: 2 (hopefully - like I said T'was a dark and stormy night)

Don't Count Your Chickens...

Egg Count

Dwight: 19 (in one day!)
Lauren: 0 (all time)

Current Hen Count

Dwight: 26
Lauren: 2

Starting Hen Count

Dwight: 30 something
Lauren: 3

Traumatic Experiences

Dwight: 1
Lauren: at least 5

Never Enough

Occasionally, at this time of the afternoon I really want

.

But, in order to get

out of

,

I need three of

.

Or a combination of

 and

.

It is almost too easy when I have enough

.

Until I go grocery shopping at

and I have to put

in

to be able to use a cart.

Those darn

.

Aaron: Chicken Wrangler

"Yeah. What's up now?!"  were the words Aaron used to taunt Nina after getting her back into the coop.

I would say our average time to catch a chicken used to be about 20 minutes. We have been out of practice since the construction of the impenetrable fortress.

Remember that good idea I had to take Charlie up to the coop with me? It backfired yesterday morning. I was inside the fence with the ladies refreshing the food and water. They were a little more active than they usually are and I guess that intrigued Charlie. He was sniffing around the outside of the fence and got pretty excited, started running the perimeter and making noises that dogs make when they are excited. Nina got startled and went in the coop. Not all together a bad idea. 

The day we bought bigger posts and concrete mix we also bought eye hooks, latches and bungee cords so that I could close my access door from the inside. That bag went missing. 

Nina is in the coop. I am in the yard. Charlie is outside. The door is open.

Don't go outside. Don't go outside. "Don't go outside."

"Oh!" Nina thinks. "Go outside. All right. It is a little scary in here right now."

Charlie is on her six. She is running. She is flying. Charlie is running. I am screaming. "Charlie! No! No, Charlie!"

Nina somehow made it to safety - wherever that was. Charlie got distracted or disappointed, I am not sure which. Either way I got him in the house and started looking and listening for Nina.

Aaron and I walked around the front yard, the fence line, down the road... Nothing. I went to the other side of the fence and walked around my neighbor's yard. Nothing.

We walk back up the driveway and there she is. Just like she was that Friday afternoon. Calm, collected. We followed her as she made her way back to the coop, back to her friend. Now all we had to do was get her inside.

It might be 10 o'clock at this point and we had somewhere to be at 11:00. So instead of pushing her farther into the underbrush, we retreat. About 30 minutes later we check on her again. She is hanging out under the coop, talking with Queen Isabella. There was a lot of conversation between those two. Another unsuccessful chase and we head out.

We get back around 2:30 and try again, this time with Eric's help. We have Aaron with his homemade chicken catcher apparatus, Eric with the fishing net and me surrounded by testosterone wielding  poles and nets. This approach was too aggressive. Again, we retreat.

Another hour goes by and Nina is back to the hen house probably scheming. It's two on one and the bird has the home field advantage. I don't think the briers and prickers bother her. She relies on them for protection. She made a mistake though. She couldn't go back the way she came - I was there. She couldn't go right or left - the underbrush was too thick. She ran out the front and thwap! Aaron got the net around her. Scooped her up and told her with gritted teeth, "Stop. Stop it. Calm down."

I unlatched the door. She walked out of the net and into the yard. I got in the coop with a drill and a latch. We shouldn't have this problem again.

DDA

If anyone was curious why the posts weren't as frequent as before there are two reasons:

1. That time between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. - I was being utilized. It has been a nice change of pace. 

2. Aaron has been hogging the home computer. He has been working on what we usually refer to as a "Slide show." However, I was thinking about this on my way home yesterday and decided that it isn't technically a slide show since there are not any slides involved. It isn't a Power Point presentation either. I have decided he has been working on a DDA - a digital display of affection.

Being a Myers, he ate this up. He said if he were to speak about the presentation he would be sure to refer to it as a DDA. And I think people would laugh. The Myers kind of people would anyway. And they would think, "Oh that Aaron, he is so clever and funny."

But he's not!                                                                  It's his wife!  

OK. OK. He has his moments.
This just wasn't one of them.

House Guests

This past weekend my dad came from the great state of NC to visit with us. I made sure there were fresh washcloths and towels available, clean sheets on the guest bed, and enough groceries to tie him over before everybody else was ready for breakfast.  For the most part my dad is a pretty self sufficient guest.

This is probably my favorite picture of the two of us. I still wish I could fit there. It would look pretty ridiculous if I tried that now. We are about the same height and sadly I think I outweigh him now. (That is something we both need to work on. The man cannot keep weight on. And I... well, I cannot keep off the couch.)

Myles on the other hand... Myles is my dog-in-law and he is neeeeeeeeeeeeedy. He knows where the food is, knows where the treats are but still insists on having someone get them for him. Even if it isn't time. My relationship with Myles has been a rocky one. He has single-pawedly (with no help from Charlie whatsoever) destroyed a comforter, a tablecloth, a brand new futon mattress, a wind chime still hanging from a tree, a fiber optic Christmas tree and small glass ornaments. Oh yeah, and he once jumped through one of the screen windows into the sunroom.

I know what you are thinking - TACKY! A futon and a fiber optic Christmas tree?

Recently though, Myles has been much better behaved when we are not home to immediately service his needs. And I reward him with praise and affection. He is always a little nervous though - separation anxiety I think. If he isn't busy eating to cope with his emotions, he is pawing at us. Weaving around us like a cat, except less content. If a limb is unreachable for him to paw at, he paws at the door frame, the couch, the cabinet with the dog treats...

Charlie was a very gracious host Tuesday night and shared his toys with Myles. I can't say Loofah Doug was too thrilled about the situation but he kept a smile on his face the whole time.

Please note the number of limbs on the hedgehog.

 

Don't let this image fool you. He is not as innocent as he seems.

This picture is right on, see how he looks worried?

Wait a minute... Charlie - what is that hanging from your mouth?

 

So, all of the photographic evidence points to Charlie at this point, but I assure you, he did not behead Loofah Doug by himself. He just took it upon himself to finish the field dressing.

Lights

I wrangled some trees, shrubs, briars and brush this weekend trying to let some more light into the coop and the yard. Our property looks better, but the yard of the coop is still pretty shaded. My friend, Emily, (with whom I had lunch with today at Mediterranean Delight) has a friend who keeps chickens and that friend said I should have eggs by now.

D'white brought in his first full dozen and showed them off this morning. They are beautiful.  Tans, browns, greens, whites... all slightly different in size. His flock of 25 or so are producing 7 eggs a day right now. I'm a little jealous, but mostly, I am concerned I am doing something wrong.

In a few minutes I am going to swing by Tractor Supply and look for a solar powered light that I can install in the hen house. Scratch that. I just looked them up to see how much it would cost and saw that they are only available online. So much for almost instant gratification.

Playing Hooky

Have you ever watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off? It happens to be one of my favorite movies.

Do you remember the part where he talks about doing something worthwhile with your day off, otherwise you might as well be at school... or in my case, work? That wasn't really an issue Friday. My day didn't compare to his, but I never felt like I would be better off at work.

My dilemma on my unscheduled days off is usually trying to be convincing enough that my boss will believe me, but not so convincing that I actually end up feeling like crap. Power of suggestion is, well, powerful. Instead of calling with a weakened, stuffy voice, I sent a text message. Something along the lines of "Out today. Not feeling good" the part he didn't get - but maybe he read into was "enough to deal with you." I'll worry about that Monday. 

I hate lying and I'm not good at it. But I just can't seem to leave it at "I won't be in." I think I feel too guilty about it that I have to provide a reason.

I was so excited about not going to work yesterday that I couldn't sleep in - at first. After I showered and ate breakfast, Charlie and I hunkered down on the couch for about an hour. 

Before I went out to lunch - my first real outing of the day - I ran up to check on my birds. Apparently, they weren't feeling very motivated either. It appeared as though they were just getting up. I didn't see them in their yard so I knocked on the access door and they came walking out slowly, stopping to stretch their wings. From this behavior I have decided they aren't getting enough light. It is too late to move the coop to a sunnier area now that the posts are permanent fixtures.  Decisions, decisions.

Oh! By the way, the decision to take Charlie up to the coop with me in the evenings has proved to be a good one. Thursday night we ran off a critter!

F. U. N. E. X.?

D'white told me on Monday that he got his first 2 eggs this weekend. He said they were kind of small, but that the first ones usually are. He also informed me of a family rule that I might adopt for the Myers Mini Farm. If an egg is just too small, you have to throw it over the house.

Sometimes I feel the need to throw things. However, I realize it is socially unacceptable in most situations and therefore maintain self control. Tantrums may not be pretty, but on occasion, I think they might just be necessary.

For now, the only eggs I have are in the fridge and they came from the store. I am actually a little surprised that I am not overly anxious to collect fresh eggs. That doesn't mean I won't hoot, holler, skip and jump when I get one, it just means I have more patience than I thought.

Did you get it yet? F. U. N. E. X.? I had to ask the sender of the text message to decode for me. My mind really started to wander.

    FU        NE     X?
(eff yoo) (en ee) (ex)
  have you any eggs?

He didn't come up with it himself. If his kids hadn't told him, he wouldn't have known either.